The only TV I watch these days besides crappy LGBT movies on Netflix is Biggest Loser. Jillian announced this week that she is leaving Biggest Loser. Why does the hot lesbian have to leave the show? I may have to quit watching now...
Really, the show has a lot of critics, but I have found it motivational. This season especially has been motivational because I feel like I have been progressing right along side the contestants. I was not really big enough to even qualify for the show. Yet I relate to the people on it the show in many ways. Just like many of the contestants, I have allowed my weight to determine my confidence level. I have allowed my weight to limit me. The weight was an excuse to not to do things... Now even with the few pounds that I have lost I feel more confident.
I find myself engaging more actively with the world now that I have lost weight, where as before I was definitely holding back.
I still find myself looking at really big girls and wondering if I look like that. My mental image of myself does not match reality. My mental image is that of an enormous fat girl. I know on some level that I am not an enormous fat girl but it is still a fear... I was never an enormous fat girl so why do I think that I am? What part of me needs to imagine this "reality"?
From your other blog, you have called yourself a perfectionist, so it's probably that part of you that is hyper-critical of your body also. I also think it's just part of being female for most of us. I know very few girls who are totally happy and content with how they look. I remember always wanting to lose 5-10 pounds when I was thin, and I see photos of me then and think I would love to look like that now. I am more at peace with my face now, but I don't know if I ever will be with my body, although I am willing to be more reasonable with my expectations of it. I love Jillian...have you tried her shred workout? But even more than Jillian, I love Jackie Warner, another ripped lesbian. her dvd's are good, too. You are doing fantastic!
ReplyDeleteI can relate to this post on so many levels. One, I just got an email from Netflix saying that Billy's Hollywood Screen Kiss should be waiting in my mailbox when I get home. Two, I haven't watched BL in a few seasons, but I really gleaned good info from it. Three, Jillian is impossibly hot. I know I couldn't get her pregnant, but I would die trying. And last, I really relate to your last paragraph. I've gone up and down on the scales over the years, but I know I have a ridiculously critical view of my body. I'm trying to get over that, while also trying to be as fit and healthy as possible the way you're doing it--the right way for the right reasons.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the great example!
So I wrote this inspired comment a few days ago, and it's gone, so it looks like blogger lost it, and I never can get the original intent on a re-write, so just know that I think you are doing great. Another ripped lesbian I love is Jackie Warner...familiar with her? Her workouts are intense...her reality show, aptly titled "Workout" was good...I think you can get it on Netflix...
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